by Robyn Wolfson Vorster | Jun 5, 2025 | Child Abuse, Children’s Online World, Missing and Trafficked Children
The advent of the internet has put predators into children’s pockets, and many use a classic child sexual abuse playbook. With ease of access to children online, anonymity, the speed and intensity at which online relationships progress, secrecy, careful grooming and vicious, prolonged attacks on children’s identity and belonging, the question is not how this crime occurred, but rather how many other children are affected whose stories we will never know?
It’s a parent’s worst nightmare: the phone call warning that the 16-year-old boy who befriended your daughter online, who told her he was en route from the UK to visit her, is an adult man with international warrants out for his arrest. Worse, he was already in the country.
The story reads like the script of a Hollywood movie – a teenage girl rescued minutes before she was sexually abused and trafficked out of the country. It’s a narrative made more shocking because it didn’t happen to a high-risk child from a vulnerable family. The victim was a normal South African teen from a middle-class home with loving and involved parents who had done everything possible to keep her safe.
It isn’t fiction. The advent of the internet has put predators into children’s pockets, and many use an archetypal child sexual abuse playbook. Through ease of access to children online, the anonymity of online contact, the speed and intensity at which online relationships progress combined with secrecy, careful grooming, vicious and prolonged attacks on children’s self-esteem while they are desperate for identity and belonging, and often with the support and financial backing of organised crime, 10 cases of online child sexual abuse and exploitation are reported to occur globally every second.
Multinational investigation
In September 2022, a combined team of homeland security, the Hawks and Interpol, along with anti-trafficking organisation Hope Risen were frantically working behind the scenes to keep UK citizen Adam Qasim Lucas Habib from abducting, raping and trafficking 15-year-old Sam*, the South African girl he had been corresponding with on Omegle, Snapchat and WhatsApp for more than a year, and who he was due to visit within days.
Unbeknown to them though, Habib was already in the country. Always one step ahead, he booked into his hotel two days before the due date on the fake ticket he had sent to her parents. Without luggage, he warned the hotel staff not to disturb him and requested no room service. That night, he allegedly purchased the services of a 13-year-old prostitute, sold to him by her parents.
On the other side of town, Sam, the only one who knew that he had arrived in the country early, began to implement her boyfriend’s carefully constructed plan. For months she had sat with her parents practising drawing a beard and moustache on her face with make-up, covering her hair with a hoodie and expertly transforming herself into a young man. It was done in plain sight of her family, a seemingly innocent pastime to which they imbued no sinister meaning.
Sam had also established a regular habit of going to the gym beneath the luxury apartment block where she lived with her parents and older brother. She’d usually be there for about an hour, more than enough time to meet the boy she was desperately in love with and disappear without a trace.
On that fateful Thursday evening, she planned to meet Habib at the gym. It was the day before Habib’s “mother”, a fake persona he had created to appease Sam’s parents, had told them he was arriving in South Africa.
Read more: Childhood in crisis
When Sam’s mom collected her from school, Sam asked if she would be home by 5pm because that was when she would be going to gym. None the wiser, it would have been an hour and a half before her parents realised she was missing, and by then she would have been long gone.
But at the last minute the plan began to unravel. The catalyst was a chance conversation at an anti-trafficking convention held by South African authorities with their foreign counterparts the week that Habib arrived in the country. During supper on the final night of the conference, a South African agent mentioned that they had a live case in play where the suspect was a UK citizen.
Alert to the potential threat, the UK agent did some digging on his return to the UK. It was he who discovered that Habib was not a child but an adult male in his late twenties, that he had been in juvenile detention in the UK, that he was wanted in both the UK and the US and, most concerningly, that he was already in South Africa.
What followed was a frantic attempt to keep Sam safe, made harder because Sam did not think she was in danger.
At the point at which her parents were notifying her school of a possible kidnap situation, staging an intervention with the senior Family Violence, Child Protection and Sexual Offences (FCS) investigating officer who threatened to arrest Sam for possession of child pornography if she did not hand over her device and passwords, and authorities were putting in plans to arrest Habib, Sam still believed that he was her 16-year-old boyfriend and that they were in love.
Textbook grooming
It was an illusion that Habib had carefully cultivated for more than a year.
Sam was just 14 years old when she first tried Omegle. Like many others her age, her life had been railroaded by Covid, forcing her online and devolving her friendship groups and quest for belonging into the microcosms of online communities.
She’d done the safety talk at school warning that Omegle, the now-defunct (but resurrected in multiple other applications) online video chat site that randomly paired users with other users from across the world was dangerous, attracting predators, and infamous for close-ups of masturbating men and couples having sex on camera. But her friends were all on Omegle and peer pressure and curiosity finally won over caution. Given all the warnings, she felt like she had hit the jackpot when Omegle paired her with Adam Habib, a handsome 16-year-old boy from the UK.
Nevertheless, she felt uncomfortable on the site and begged him to move across to Snapchat instead. When he was finally persuaded, the price he extracted was for her to stick out her tongue on camera. Innocent as she was, she had no idea that he had a tongue fetish or that after his camera suddenly went dark, the sound she could hear was him masturbating.
Little is known about the first six months of their relationship but it seems that he was initially very attentive and romantic. He used affirmation and gifts to break down her barriers, including the airtime that enabled her to speak to him late at night, concealing her activities by placing a bathroom towel at the threshold of her door to block the light, and listening closely to the footsteps down the hall. As her parents attest, she became an expert at hiding her secret online habit and at identifying which parent was coming down the passage while she was speaking to Habib.
Read more: Survival stories – readers share their experiences of child abuse
But slowly the relationship began to deteriorate. Using a textbook grooming playbook, Habib moved from meeting an important need in Sam’s life, and flooding her with gifts and compliments, to control, isolation and abuse. He alienated her from her family, keeping her up until all hours so she was perpetually exhausted, tearful and not coping at school. He gained access to all of her social media accounts and passwords to keep track of her relationships and movements, and began grooming her friends.
Then, after he had extracted a promise that she “would never speak to other boys”, he hacked one of her male friend’s accounts. When she innocently messaged the friend, Habib revealed that it was him using the account and accused her of cheating.
He began punishing her. The conversations became more and more abusive. Gone were the romantic words. Instead he bullied and body-shamed her, mocking her body and face and calling her a slut, a whore and “only good for the streets”, gradually chipping away at her self-esteem.
Months later when her anxious father hacked her Snapchat account he came across a tirade of misogynistic abuse. When he asked Sam why she allowed Habib to speak to her like that, she said that she deserved it because of her unfaithfulness.
At the same time, the exchanges became more and more sexual. Habib explained in explicit detail what he would like to do with her when they finally met, sent her pornographic images and made her masturbate and perform oral sex and anal sex on herself using a hairbrush while he watched and masturbated.
His conversations with this 14-year-old-child, which included references to oral and anal sex, orgasms, his tongue fetish, tying her up, raping her like “a bad little slut” and taking her virginity whether she consented or not, were so graphic and so vulgar that his advocate refused to read them into record during the trial.
He also manipulated her into sexting and sending him nudes. It was at this point that Sam finally confessed to her mother that she had “done something” and that she was worried.
‘I met a boy’
Sam’s parents, Rob and Linda*, had been concerned about Sam’s behaviour for months, as she had become more withdrawn, anxious and angry. Arguments with her mom, who had previously been her confidant, had increased, and she was tearful and exhausted. But, they had attributed her changed behaviour to her being a teen, so her confession took Linda by surprise.
Trying to remain calm, Linda asked her what she had done and how bad she thought it was. She ascertained that Sam had met “a boy” online and sent him naked pics of her torso. Sam said that they were in love but also that he was being nasty and had made her cry.
When Sam’s parents asked her why she accepted the belittling, she told them that “relationships online are different”. They tried to prove it wasn’t normal, but she’d push them out of her room when she was talking to Habib, and wouldn’t let them speak to him. Nevertheless, she’d often end conversations in tears and then regret her transparency.
When Habib chatted to Sam live he used an emoji filter to mask his identity so Rob and Linda were increasingly convinced that he was a “catfish”. Worried that he may be a jihadist or an extortionist, Rob began digging, but could find nothing on him.
Then in Easter 2022, when the family planned a trip away, Sam insisted she wouldn’t go. At the last minute, one of Sam’s friends tipped off Rob and Linda that Habib was in the country and Sam was planning to travel to meet him at his hotel while they were away. Horrified, Rob drove her to Montecasino to find him. When his accommodation details proved to be false, they took it as proof that he didn’t exist and that their nightmare was over.
Their euphoria was short-lived though. Hours later he sent Sam a picture of himself standing next to the Easter Bunny at the Pick n Pay downstairs from their apartment.
Suddenly, he was not only real but a stone’s throw away from their daughter. Defying the advice of a top social media attorney to “lock her up for six months and take away her phone”, and in a bid to not lose Sam, the family staked him out and then let Habib and Sam meet in public places under supervision.
It was clear almost immediately that something wasn’t right. On two occasions when Habib (who concealed his age) was with Sam, older patrons flagged his behaviour, confronting him about the way he spoke to her and his unwillingness to accept her turning down his advances.
Frustrated at not being alone with Sam, Habib extended his trip, explaining that his family was waiting for him in Cape Town. Before he left, he begged Sam’s mom to let the two of them spend time on their own. It was a request Sam’s parents adamantly refused.
In the months that followed, Habib redoubled his efforts to meet Sam alone. He even created a mother persona who did her best to persuade Rob and Linda that the children were in love and that they would be bad parents if they stood in the way. Habib’s “mother” had a 30-minute video call with Rob and Linda, begging them to allow Habib to visit again. They finally agreed to let him come in September 2022.
Read more: Gaps in the safety net — breaking down state and societal protections for children
It was here that Habib’s plan went wrong. His “mother” inadvertently disclosed to Linda that she had never been to Cape Town, undermining his story that his parents had been with him in South Africa. “She” further agreed to send through a copy of his passport.
Although the date of birth and ID number were blanked out, the barcode was still visible, which was how authorities were finally able to uncover his age, record and movements. The family were also given the contact details of Tabitha Lage from Hope Risen.
Lage described how during her first meeting with Sam, the two of them sat in silence for a whole hour as Sam angrily refused to speak to her. But then the floodgates opened.
At Lage’s behest, Sam persuaded Habib to move their conversation to WhatsApp which allowed the family to capture evidence (the final three months of their relationship alone produced 2,596 pages of WhatsApps). This had been impossible on Snapchat because of the disappearing messages, and because Habib received notifications when their messages were screenshotted, sending him into an apoplectic rage.
No remorse
By the time September and the planned second visit arrived, Sam was exhausted from sleepless nights, overwrought from the ongoing barrage of vitriol and abuse, failing at school, and worn down, with her self-esteem in tatters. She would later confess that she felt like it was too late to turn back.
Everything was poised for what could have been the day she was trafficked. But then came the police breakthrough, the confiscation of her phone and the intervention that had her in a conference room with the FCS unit of the police, rather than at the gym ready to meet Habib.
Instead of feeling grateful though, Sam was devastated. The following day, as she sat with her relieved parents in a restaurant downstairs from their apartment watching the Springboks play rugby, she became more and more anxious until at half-time Rob decided they should leave.
Minutes later, his phone began to ping as the restaurant manager, who knew the family well, and who had been given Habib’s picture, alerted him that Habib was metres away from their apartment, retracing his steps from the March visit in a frenzied attempt to find Sam.
Although he came terrifyingly close to tracking her down, it proved to be his undoing.
Even after his arrest, he still had a hold over Sam. Managing to contact her while in prison, he threatened to punish Lage and Sam’s parents. She was so certain that he would harm them that she begged him to rather kill her than hurt them.
At trial, he showed no remorse or recognition that he had done anything wrong.
Finally, more than two years after his arrest, Adam Qasim Lucas Habib was found guilty of human trafficking, production and possession of child pornography, grooming, compelled self-sexual assault, compelling a child to witness sexual offences, flashing and sexual assault. On 4 March 2025, he was sentenced to an effective 40 years in prison. Having already served three, he is facing another 13 years of incarceration.
The Johannesburg High Court judgment was landmark because it reinforced that the Trafficking in Persons (TiP) Act doesn’t require children to be moved in order for them to be trafficked.
Judge Coertse provided a thorough breakdown of the Act, showing that if any of the following criteria were fulfilled, it would constitute trafficking: “any person who delivers, recruits, transports, transfers, harbours, sells, exchanges, leases or receives another person.”
He agreed that the prosecutor had proven that Sam was recruited for sexual exploitation. The judge further explained that Habib had used an “abuse of vulnerability” to recruit her, leading her to believe that she had no other option than to submit to exploitation.
But despite the victory in court, Sam, just months away from becoming an adult, has been significantly scarred by her experience. Captain Botha from the FCS unit testified at Habib’s trial that Sam had suffered from child sexual abuse syndrome, presenting with the five classic signs of secrecy, helplessness, entrapment and accommodation, delayed, conflicting and unconvincing disclosure, and retraction.
Habib’s grooming, which isolated her, met a felt need, created a shared secret, sexualised their relationship and then wore her down through cruelty and control, had altered her self-perception, evident in the way she continued to love and support him despite what he had done – according to Lage, a form of Stockholm syndrome.
Educating children
While Sam’s experience is unique, it is not uncommon. According to Childlight, more than 300 million children are victims of online child sexual abuse and exploitation every year.
Prevention requires tech companies to place children’s wellbeing over profit and for governments to use legislation to prohibit or at least delay children from accessing harmful platforms including social media and gaming platforms where predators can access them. For worried parents, the changes are coming too slowly.
In response, many are delaying access to devices, something Sam endorses for her future children.
In addition, educating children about grooming and online exploitation, and keeping open lines of communication wherever possible, are key to safety because even when authorities and families successfully collaborate to protect a child, there are no fairytale endings in child sexual abuse cases. For Sam and her family, healing and recovery may be a long and painful journey.
One in eight children has been affected by online solicitation. If you or a family member have been affected by online child sexual abuse and exploitation, contact Childline for assistance on 116.
If you want to report an electronic crime, contact Crime Stop on 086 000 10111 and ask to speak to the Serial Electronic Crime (SECI) Unit.
Concerned parents who want to delay access to smart devices can join the Smartphone Free Childhood movement. For more information about how this crime affects South African children and the legislative reforms needed to keep our children safer, read “Government initiatives to protect children from online harms may be too little, too late”.
First published in the Daily Maverick: 05.06.2025
*Names changed to protect their identities
by Robyn Wolfson Vorster | Jun 3, 2025 | Child Abuse
In a 2008 study, 41% of boys who had been sexually abused reported that their perpetrator was a woman. No such stats exist for girls but research on female perpetrators shows that like boys, girls can be abused by female family members, educators, and even domestic workers. Secret, unacknowledged, and often unprosecuted, female perpetration against children is a huge unspoken crime.
When children attend our grooming awareness workshops, the first thing we ask is if they can identify a predator. They’re given images of people of different genders, races, ages, professions and socioeconomic groups to rank from “most likely to groom and sexually abuse children”, to “least likely”. The goal is to demonstrate that they can’t identify predators based on outward appearances. It always results in lively debate, though, and their choices are instructive.
When they give feedback about who they think is the most obvious predator, only a handful of children choose women, and then usually the woman who looks like she has lived a rough life, or the teacher because of her easy access to children.
There is only one image that no child has ever chosen. It is the image of the gentle looking domestic worker cuddling a pre-schooler. This disbelief that women, and specifically the women closest to us, can be predators is one of the reasons that many operate with impunity.
It is also what kept Beth Amato quiet for decades.
It has been 35 years since Beth was first abused. The daughter of a mother struggling with her mental health, whose work took her out of the home, often late at night, her parents outsourced care for their pre-school twins to their cherished nanny Florence*.
Taking on the role that Beth’s mentally ill and overwrought mother could not manage, she became indispensable almost immediately, and an integral part of the family. Whatsapp messages written by Beth’s mother many years later identified Florence as her most trusted confidante, “the only person”, she stated, who “understood” her.
The texts Beth’s mother sent to Florence after she left the family’s employment expressed how much she loved and missed her.
Beth also adored Florence when she was young but vividly remembers the moment when everything changed. It was a normal bath time until her nanny instructed her twin brother to get out of the bath. Leaving Beth in the bath, Florence dried and dressed him. When the little boy finally left the room, her nanny began to fondle and rub Beth’s genitals. Despite only being five at the time, Beth remembers that she didn’t like it.
Before she got out of the bath Florence told her not to tell anyone and that no one would believe her anyway. “It’s between us girls,” Florence said.
The abuse continued over a period of a year and then abruptly stopped. From that moment, Florence transferred her affections to Beth’s twin, cruelly isolating and rejecting the small girl.
Despite her young age, Beth personalised the abuse, caught in shame and self-blame. Experiencing her body as an unsafe place, she developed an eating disorder in her teen years, trying to use her weight to create a barrier around her body, attempting to keep herself safe from unwanted sexual advances. But her efforts were in vain and the early sexualisation led to further abuse, promiscuity but also the tormenting belief that no one would ever find her attractive.
For years she concealed what had happened. At 19 when she finally disclosed the abuse to her beloved father, his response was: “Beth, a woman does not sexually abuse children.” Her dad was nonetheless supportive in later years. But Florence continued to work for Beth’s family for 12 years despite their full knowledge of what she had done.
It took Beth much longer to tell her mom, and for good reason. When she finally did, her mother was incredulous, suggesting they call Florence in to hear her side of the story. Not wanting to confront the abuse with her abuser, Beth refused. But her mother’s enduring faith in Florence was confirmed by those devastating texts that she sent to her years after Beth first disclosed the abuse.
Although Beth only discovered these texts after her mother’s untimely death, they corroborated the message Florence’s continued presence in her parent’s home had telegraphed. Florence had been right, her mother, the person most responsible for her care, safety and wellbeing, did not believe that Beth had been abused.
Her abuser continued to work for her parents until she retired when Beth was 31. She had been employed by Beth’s parents for 27 years. Twenty six of those years were after she first abused their daughter. To date, she has not been held accountable.
Abuse at home
Like Beth, Martin Pelder’s abuse took place predominantly in the bath. Decades later, he can still describe his childhood bathroom in minute detail. From the blue fluffy towels and bath mat, to the Hitashi washing machine, the shape of the mirror, to the smell of the Colgate apple shampoo and the Lux soap.
Most of all, he remembers the scratching sound that the latch made when his abuser used a coin or a key to open the door he had so carefully locked, the fear he felt, and running his bath water earlier and earlier to try to avoid being in the bath when she came home from work.
But somehow she always knew. Nor could he escape, because Martin’s abuser was his own mother.
Martin, who has spoken extensively in public about his experiences, describes how she would push open the locked bathroom door and take off her shirt. She’d scrub his back with a rough cloth or brush until it was raw and close to bleeding, then scrub behind his ears, always saying the same thing, “we don’t want you to grow cabbages here”. These banal activities belied what always followed, the molestation, his mother washing and playing with his genitals, seemingly amused by his resultant erection.
The terrifying baths his mother gave him when he was eight or nine are forever etched in his memory. Vaguer are the memories of her curly head performing oral sex on him when he was about five or six.
The last time his mother, who also beat him physically, hurt him was when he was 18. By then he was six foot three inches tall but she still slapped him for visiting his father who was estranged from her. Although she weighed over 20kg more than him, Martin remembers picking her up, holding her at arm’s length and putting her down on the bed so she couldn’t hit him any more.
She never tried to hurt him again. But it was her voice he heard in his head when at 16 he lined his motorbike up with a concrete bridge pylon.
“You’ll mess it up,” her voice mocked. He imagined himself surviving but lying helpless and forever changed in hospital. In torment, he chose not to kill himself.
Although he did not die that day, his mother’s abuse, which she has consistently denied, left him sexualised, aggressive and misogynistic, and triggered decades of abuse at the hands of other perpetrators, both female and male, and years of substance abuse at his own hands.
It even subsumed the joy when his baby daughter was born — at the time the highlight of his young and troubled life. Overwhelmed with love for her, he clearly remembers standing changing her nappy and hearing the devil on one shoulder telling him that he would put his fingers into her tiny vagina and assault her, even as the angel on the other told him he loved her and would never hurt her.
Fearful that the angel was wrong, he withdrew emotionally from his much-anticipated child, just in case.
In the decades that followed, Martin, like Beth, had to fight for his own healing. His mother, now 92, has never been held accountable for the abuse.
The myth that only men abuse
Experts who have studied female sexual abusers of children believe that lack of consequence is probably the norm, despite the crime being far more prevalent than is commonly understood.
A 2008 South African study on the sexual abuse of boys found that of the almost 130,000 males surveyed, approximately 40% had been forced to have sex by the age of 18. Of those, 41% had been sexually abused by female perpetrators and 26% had been forced to have sex by both male and female perpetrators.
There are no commensurate South African studies on girl victims of female perpetrators. The crimes are also frequently underreported because of shame, and because many in authority, like Beth’s dad, don’t believe that women can sexually abuse children.
Nonetheless, the study belies the myth that only men abuse. Instead, it confirms global figures cited by one of the few South African academics to study female perpetrators, Dr Sherianne Kramer, which suggest that as many as one in four children are abused by female perpetrators.
Kramer explains that we are reluctant to acknowledge female paedophilia, defined as sexual attraction to pre-pubescent children, or that women may have agency to act on those desires and the ability to operate independently, rather than as an accomplice to a man.
The two biggest hinderances to recognition of these crimes are that women are generally seen as nurturing and maternal and therefore incapable of sexual transgression, especially against vulnerable children, and that because women don’t have a penis, they are seen as incapable of penetrative sexual abuse, and other forms of abuse are seen as “less serious”.
However, the South African Criminal Law (Sexual Offences and related matters Amendment Act, 2007) broadened the definition of rape to include unlawful and intentional penetration of the mouth, anus or genital organs with an object or any part of the body; and sexual assault to include any unwanted sexual act or behaviour including touching, groping, fondling, or any form of sexual coercion or intimidation. Sexual grooming is also a criminal offence.
Both Beth and Martin’s stories graphically illustrate that their abusers used the role of nurturer as access to abuse them, and that even in the absence of genital penetration, the impact of the abuse on their lives was catastrophic.
Kramer found that South African practitioners and the general populace are also reluctant to accept that female sexual offenders often prey on very young children. This reality has recently been highlighted in the horror case of Nada-Jane however, the four-year-old girl sexually assaulted and murdered, allegedly by her father’s partner and former pre-school teacher, Amber Lee Hughes.
Hughes is currently on trial for the rape and murder of the child. According to National Prosecuting Authority spokesperson Phindi Mjonondwane: “The accused allegedly raped the deceased by inserting an unknown object in her private parts, it is also alleged that she drowned her… Her lifeless body was later found floating in the bathtub.”
‘Mrs Robinson’ narrative
While the general populace is more willing to acknowledge female predation on adolescent boys, the so-called “Mrs Robinson” narrative, many people believe it is the ultimate teenage boy’s fantasy. The result is that those victims who recognise that they’ve been abused and are brave enough to report it, often have the crime trivialised or the impact minimised.
This is particularly common with female teachers who victimise their pupils.
It was evident in South Africa’s most notorious case of sexual abuse by a female teacher, former Bishop’s College History teacher and waterpolo coach Fiona Viotti. Viotti’s school found her guilty of sexual misconduct with five boys between 2013 and 2019 after she had sexual intercourse with the pupils and exposed them to pornographic images.
Despite her having been in a position of power over the boys she abused, and her former school having reported her to the police and South African Council of Educators for investigation of the crimes, the response of the public ranged from salacious “atta boys” to an outpouring of sympathy for her.
Comments such as, “wish she was my teacher at school” and “where can I get extra lessons” along with Big Blue’s distasteful “Waterpolo Teacher’s Pet” T-shirts trivialised and ridiculed the boys’ experience as victims, while Facebook pages entitled “We stand with Fiona Viotti” and “Fiona Viotti is the greatest teacher ever” portrayed her as vulnerable, wronged and misunderstood.
Partly because of the public’s reaction, which compounded the harm to the boys involved, portraying them as instigators, benefactors or equally complicit, parents of the victims would not allow their names to be given to the police or for the South African Council of Educators to interview them. The case could not proceed as a result.
To date, Viotti hasn’t experienced any legal or criminal consequences for her actions.
But Viotti’s isn’t an isolated case. Female sexual predators are prevalent in South African schools. Commonly reported grooming behaviour includes accessing changing rooms, one-on-one time with children behind closed doors, physical boundary violations such as stroking, massaging, kissing and back rubs, private messaging, inappropriate attire, allowing pupils to access exam papers or use contraband to create a shared secret, sending naked or sexualised images or videos, and exposing children to pornography.
International examples
While most of these South African cases have yet to be prosecuted, cases from the US and the UK illustrate what can happen when we ignore female sexual predators. Few are as instructive and troubling as that of Mary Kay Letourneau.
Letourneau first met her victim Vili Fualaau when he was eight years old.
Four years later, she began a sexual relationship with him. When she was arrested for felony second degree rape, she was already six months pregnant with Fualaau’s child. Her seven-and-a-half-year sentence was commuted to six months with three suspended provided she sever all ties with Fualaau. But, shortly after her release, she was re-arrested for continuing to have sex with him. Her full sentence was reinstated and during her imprisonment she gave birth to a second child fathered by Fualaau.
After her second incarceration, she and Fualaau, by then an adult, applied to get the no-contact order revoked. The two married nine years after she first began abusing him.
Letourneau died from colon cancer aged 58. In an interview with 7News shortly before her death, journalist Matt Doran, who described their relationship as arguably the most extended case of child sexual abuse, asked them how it began. Letourneau insisted that at 12, Vili had “initiated the relationship”. She forced Fualaau to reluctantly state publicly that he had pursued her and seduced her. She took no responsibility for raping him despite being a teacher in authority over him, married with four children and 22 years his senior.
The Letourneau case highlights a weakness in the US legal system also evident in South Africa. Fualaau’s abuser was sentenced for second degree rape because of Fualaau’s age and her supervisory role over him, not for rape. This legal negation of the crime’s impact is mirrored in South Africa where female predators are often prosecuted for consensual sex with a minor child (previously called statutory rape), rather than rape. This despite the Sexual Offences Act stating that consent is not possible if the victim is groomed, persuaded to give consent, or the victim of an abuse of power or authority.
Moreover, in South Africa, those found guilty of consensual sex with a minor child often receive a suspended sentence. And this, along with the disbelief that female sexual abuse is possible, and damaging, may be why Kramer’s studies and those of another researcher Dr Beba Papakyriakou revealed that only a small number of women offenders are arrested and incarcerated.
Lifting the veil
Those who are arrested or who confess abuse in a therapeutic environment typically don’t see themselves as criminals, but as maternal, passive, vulnerable, victimised and innately virtuous. Offender studies confirm that female perpetrators rarely if ever believe that they have done something wrong. When reflecting on the effect of their crime, they showed little or no empathy, focusing on the impact on themselves, not the victim.
None of the perpetrators the researchers interviewed believed that they were guilty of a crime.
According to Papakyriakou, this is reinforced by the criminal justice system. While male offenders of child sexual abuse are identified when they are incarcerated, women are classified more broadly as “child abusers”. This also means that programmes focused on behaviour change and restorative justice are not targeted towards sexual abuse.
The offenders’ perspective that they are victims who have done nothing wrong, and the lack of targeted interventions for the handful of women who confess or are convicted and incarcerated could also explain why some female perpetrators reoffend.
Kramer and Papakyriakou’s research found that like male perpetrators, paedophilia in females and the sexual abuse of older children often results from trauma in early childhood, difficulties with intimacy and self-esteem, and control issues.
Female child molesters are virtually indistinguishable from the general population, but they share a high incidence of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse in their histories. Women for example, who abused children without male collusion were more likely to have been severely molested before the age of 10. The women’s relationships with their mothers were also found to be problematic, with physical and psychological abuse present in nearly all the relationships, resulting in poorer self-esteem.
Crucially, Kramer highlighted the invisibility of female paedophiles because “society doesn’t expect females to commit this crime. A woman touching a child is more likely to be excused or rationalised or ignored than a man touching a child inappropriately.”
Papakyriakou concurs that the crime needs to be more broadly recognised, policed, prosecuted and therapeutically addressed if there is to be a meaningful impact on the incidence.
The starting point is the validation of the experience of victims, compilation of statistics to show how many boys and girls have been sexually abused by women, and high-level prosecutions, not for so-called lesser crimes such as consensual sex with a minor, but for rape, sexual grooming of a child, exposing a child to pornography, flashing (exposure or display of genital organs, anus or female breasts to children), and compelled self-sexual assault.
For this to occur, authorities and society need to accept that women can be victims and perpetrators, that a penis is not a prerequisite for sexual assault, and most importantly, that the consequences of sexual assault are the same for the victim whether the perpetrator is male or female.
Until we do, schools, sports facilities, communities and country clubs will be strewn with victims of these undisclosed crimes, and sexual abuse by women will continue to be the hidden backstory behind many children’s eating disorders, substance abuse, misogyny, promiscuity, teen pregnancy, violence and even suicide.
It’s time to lift the veil of secrecy and challenge the myth that women can’t sexually abuse children, and to include prevention of female perpetration in our safeguarding strategies. Failing that, our violence prevention strategies will be incomplete and women will continue to sexually abuse children with impunity.
First published in the Daily Maverick: 03.06.2025
*Not her real name.
by Robyn Wolfson Vorster | Feb 19, 2025 | Child Abuse, Children’s Online World
Up to 60% of South African children have seen pornography by age 10; 20% of children have been subjected to sexual abuse and exploitation online; and harmful sexual behaviours among children, including rape and incest, are at crisis levels.
It’s been two years since South Africa participated in the global Disrupting Harm survey which identified the prevalence and impact of online child sexual abuse and exploitation (OCSEA) in the country, and a year since Daily Maverick sounded the alarm about children’s early and prolonged exposure to pornography and other harms children experience online.
They are harms that government appears to be taking seriously. In 2024, when it was a participant in the first global conference on ending violence against children and signatory to the resultant Bogota Call to Action – a global commitment to protecting children from violence – South Africa’s pledge included online safety.
Also in 2024, four regulatory entities launched the Information and Communications Technologies (ICT) and Media Regulators Forum, designed to protect children and vulnerable groups in digital spaces; the Film and Publications Board launched a WhatsApp hotline.
Moreover, online safety was included as a theme of the 2024 “16 Days of Activism for no violence against women and children”.
But even a cursory comparison of South Africa’s commitment to those of other Bogota signatories, and an evaluation of government’s presentation to the Parliamentary Committee on social development about what it has done to prevent and mitigate online harm, raises alarm bells.
Government’s strategy, which ignores the harm of children’s exposure to pornography and includes no mention of legislative or policy reforms, but instead focuses on education and awareness raising, is a long-game approach, akin to going door-to-door to warn people of an approaching hurricane.
It might be apposite if we weren’t already in the middle of the storm.
Problematic or harmful sexual behaviours
The reports came with depressing regularity over 2024. Concerned schools, ranging from elite private schools to quintile 1 and 2 government schools, sought help with problematic or harmful sexual behaviours often enacted in public spaces, at school, on camps and tours, and after hours between pupils.
Girls caught naked and kissing each other in school bathrooms; boys and girls masturbating in public spaces, either alone or in a group; boys experimenting together sexually on school camps, including a group of boys using bottles for anal penetration; reports of groping and fingering; sexual grooming of peers; and even full sexual assault, often in public places.
While some may argue that such behaviours aren’t uncommon among teens, these reports aren’t coming from high schools. Instead, every one of these incidents involved children aged between six and 11, neither legally able to consent to sex nor to be charged with a crime because they’re under the age of criminal capacity.
In one of the most concerning stories, John* a nine-year-old boy, sexually assaulted Ella*, an 11-year-old girl. The boy was bewildered about her reluctance to participate.
In another, a boy was seen sexually assaulting preschool girls on the side of the road.
The reports aren’t isolated. Experts are concerned that harmful sexual behaviours, defined as child-on-child sexual abuse or inappropriate sexual behaviours, are at epidemic levels among children.
In the United Kingdom, 50% of sexual assaults of children reported to the police have been committed by other children. South Africa lacks these disaggregated sexual assault statistics.
But, a recent study on harmful sexual behaviour (HSB) among South African children conducted by Jelly Beanz, an organisation dedicated to helping children impacted by trauma and abuse, found that in 2016, in almost a third of South African sexual abuse cases involving children, the perpetrator was another child. If South Africa is following international trends, that percentage has increased in the last eight years.
Exposure to online pornography
The HSB cases all have a common denominator – at least one of the involved children had been exposed to online pornography prior to the incident. In its book, South African Children and Pornography, designed to help practitioners manage the pornography crisis, Jelly Beanz explain that young children are particularly affected by viewing pornography and feel compelled to either co-watch with other children or to act out what they have seen. The consequences can be tragic.
In a well-publicised story published in the Sowetan in October 2024, a boy was sentenced to 15 years’ imprisonment after he began raping other children at age 12. His rapes included that of a 12-year-old classmate, an 11-year-old boy, a five-year-old girl and the attempted rape of an 11-year-old girl. Along with a violent family life, the boy confessed to watching pornography on his phone and then “putting what he saw into practice”.
For Edith Kriel, Managing Director of Jelly Beanz, the case epitomises an adult problem for which children are paying. Kriel lamented the institutional failure that resulted in this child not getting the help he needed to stop harming others. Social workers had an opportunity to intervene after the first rape, but misunderstood the legislated age of criminal capacity and failed to ask the right questions about how his online world was driving his behaviour.
At nine, John* had already been viewing pornography for several years. When asked about it, his heartbroken mother said that she had been aware of his pornography usage, but thought he had stopped watching.
As much victims as actors
The Harmful Sexual Behaviours study emphasises that children who commit these crimes when under 12, the age of criminal capacity, are “children at risk” and in many cases, “sad children not bad children”. Those whose behaviour originates in pornography viewing are as much victims as they are actors.
But this does not mitigate harm, and children may still end up in diversion programmes, if these are even available, and labelled a pervert or paedophile by their peers.
In at least one case, a 10-year-old boy was forced to leave his school because of bullying and name-calling from other boys and their parents after a shared and mutually initiated sexual experiment with three of his peers on a school camp.
The South African government urgently needs to acknowledge the link between pornography viewing and HSB drawn by multiple academic studies and the United Kingdom Children’s Commissioner, and act to protect children from exposure to pornography as part of its strategy to shield children from online harms. It’s critical because if South African statistics are accurate, and up to 60% of children are exposed to pornography by age 10, these incidents will not decrease without active government intervention.
Nor is HSB the only negative outcome of children viewing pornography. It is also linked to early sexual debuts in children, willingness to take more risks sexually, including anal sex, facial ejaculations, strangulation, unprotected sex and sexual violence.
A 2010 study which analysed the most watched pornography scenes found that 88% of them contained physical violence – 94% of this violence was directed towards women and in 96% of the scenes, the women portrayed pleasure when aggressed against.
In a country with such high levels of violence against women and children and such concerning rates of child pregnancies, including among children aged 10-14, policymakers cannot ignore the impact of pornography viewing.
Online exploitation
Further, exposure to pornography has been identified by frontline workers as the most significant risk factor in making children vulnerable to online child sexual abuse and exploitation (Ocsea).
In 2024, more than 100 million images or videos of children being sexually abused were found online, 98% of these show children under 13, and in January 2025, South African police arrested Darren Wilken for the possession and distribution of more than 10 million child sexual abuse images and videos. Yet, pornography viewing is not included in the government’s definition of online harm.
The online harms that government does acknowledge, including online grooming, sexting and sextortion, are equally prevalent in South Africa. A global 2024 study done by the University of Edinburgh and the Human Dignity Foundation for Childlight found that more than 300 million, or one in eight children worldwide, had been subject to online solicitation in the past 12 months. This includes unwanted sexual talk such as non-consensual sexting, unwanted sexual questions, non-consensual taking, sharing and/or exposure to sexual images and videos, and requests for unwanted sexual acts by adults or other youths.
Of the regions surveyed, southern and East Africa had the highest measured rates of online solicitation of children in the past 12 months (which they defined as online grooming, online sexual harassment, pressure to obtain images, voluntarily provided images in a statutorily impermissible relationship, unwanted/non-consensual/pressured sexting, and unwanted sexual talk). The studies they cited showed that 20.4%, or one in five children in the region had been targeted over the previous 12 months.
This study mirrored the findings of the South African version of the Disrupting Harm study which indicated that in the year prior to the survey, 19% of the 9-17-year-olds surveyed were asked “to talk about sex or sexual acts with someone when they did not want to”; 22% had been asked to share sexual information about themselves; 16% said they had been asked to share a naked photo or video of themselves; and 7% had been extorted using naked photos or images (the latter two figures are likely to be higher because these crimes are frequently underreported).
Nor are online harms exclusively related to pornography or Ocsea. In 2024, Dr Jonathan Haidt’s book, the Anxious Generation detailed the rise of phone-based children, the loss of a play-based childhood, and how it’s affecting children.
Haidt, along with other experts in this space such as Dr Jean Twenge, Dr Becky Foljambe and Professor Gloria Mark highlight in stark detail how our children’s online world has resulted in a myriad of harms ranging through depression, loneliness, self-harm and suicide, high-risk behaviours, changes to sleep, relationships and academic performance, and compulsivity – all of which are impacting on children’s working memory, ability to concentrate, emotional regulation, judgement, impulsivity, cognitive skills and ability to learn.
SA’s high-risk environment
While these are global challenges, South Africa is a particularly high-risk environment because of the saturation of children with internet-enabled devices; the absence of care for many; the lack of tech-savvy caregivers who recognise that children are no longer safe “in their own rooms” and who have actively put protective mechanisms in place; the deficiency of budget for policing and prosecution of online crimes; and the dearth of legislation and policy to protect children online.
In response to these crises, government has focused on awareness and education. In December 2024, the Department of Social Development reported to the parliamentary portfolio committee that since the country became a member of the WeProtect Global Alliance in July 2020, government has trained almost 1,000 practitioners on online safety and run several workshops for children, caregivers and educators.
The South African government’s commitment to continue with this strategy is confirmed in its Bogota pledge which states that the country will “build capacity of different stakeholders on online safety including parents, caregivers, children, frontline workers, and strengthen the curriculum in schools promoting the online safety of children by 2027”.
Awareness-raising and education are mission critical for dealing with online harms, and a key action step highlighted in the evidence-based action report arising from the global Disrupting Harm study. But, as veteran child protection activist Joan van Niekerk points out, “in the absence of any reported monitoring and evaluation, it’s impossible to say how many of South Africa’s 21 million children have been reached through each trained practitioner.”
Problematic strategy
The strategy is problematic for other reasons too.
First, it is a painstakingly slow approach to a clear and present danger. Not only is the risk to children of delayed interventions immense, but the department doesn’t have the resources to provide restorative justice and support services for the number of children already exhibiting harmful sexual behaviours.
Equally, South Africa has neither the capacity in policing services nor the justice system to be able to assist children groomed and targeted online, often after being exposed to pornography.
Second, an education and awareness approach inadvertently places the burden of responsibility on children to keep themselves safe. Not only is this a devolution and avoidance of the state’s duty of care for vulnerable children, but it places children in an impossible situation.
The Disrupting Harm survey consistently found that children were aware of risks online and professed that they wouldn’t take them, but still did. For example, more than 50% of children said that it was very risky to talk to someone on the internet that they hadn’t met before, but equally, more than 50% reported that they had done so; 32% had shared their personal details including full name, address or phone number despite knowing that this could result in harm.
Kriel illustrates using the story of a 7-year-old who was exposed to pornography after he searched for the words “bum” and “boys peeing”, despite having signed a contract agreeing not to search for anything inappropriate on the school iPads. In response, the school blamed this Grade 1 for “breaking his promise”, thus deferring its fundamental responsibility to protect children when they access school tech.
As experts attest, children’s brains are still developing through childhood, and they cannot always predict the consequences of their actions. Equally, as studies are confirming, children who have been shielded from risk “in the real world” are often far more compelled to take risks online.
But most importantly, we are pitting children against the pornography industry that in 2023 was worth $1.1-billion in America alone; against programmed backdoors and sophisticated algorithms designed to trap children into viewing pornography; against big tech’s lack of accountability for allowing children’s natural curiosity about sex and sexuality to result in them being exposed to all genres of pornography, including rape and snuff pornography; against sexual predators; and against criminal syndicates preying on children’s need for belonging and identity and so effective that in one study, two-thirds of the 6,000 Gen Z youth and young adults surveyed across six countries had been sextorted.
State responsibility
It isn’t a fair fight, and we cannot make it children’s responsibility to stay safe. For this reason, pledges from other countries place the onus on the state to protect children.
For example, the United Kingdom’s commitment is to “international leadership to prevent child sexual exploitation and abuse in all its forms, including online child sexual abuse, through the implementation of legislation and the sharing of knowledge and insight with key partners across the world. This includes responding to the increasing threat of AI-generated child sexual abuse and exploitation and supporting innovative work from across the tech sector to use AI to detect and prevent this harm”.
Zimbabwe’s pledge includes legislation designed to protect children in the online space.
It is also the reason why Australia’s recently enacted ban on social media for children under 16 has no penalties for children or caregivers if they contravene the restrictions, but places the burden of responsibility squarely on technology companies to ensure that they do not permit underage use.
Failure to comply – as with the EU regulations, and the UK’s Online Safety Act which will be enacted in 2025 and is designed to protect children from exposure to pornography, self-harm and violent content – will result in huge financial penalties for the companies who transgress. In the case of the UK, that is up to 10% of their global revenue.
But perhaps the biggest problem with government’s approach is that, as with its other strategies to stop child violence, it represents a failure to use the power afforded to it to make systemic and societal change.
Suggested actions
The suggested action items from the Disrupting Harm study include governments investing in child protection services, budgeting for law reform and policy development, and financially capacitating first responders such as increasing the number and expertise of practitioners, dedicated police services including in cybercrimes, and child-friendly justice.
Further, it recommends using legislation amendments, new legislation and policy to address Ocsea and exposure to pornography.
Frustratingly, the South African Law Reform Commission has already done the work to draft the necessary legislation. As highlighted by Daily Maverick in December 2023, recommendations to protect children from exposure to pornography and other harms online have been gathering dust for the past three years.
No one in government has stated publicly why the legislation has never been actioned. But, if the minister of social development and the new minister of justice are committed to online safety for children, introducing the legislation to Parliament would be the most effective way to achieve this.
In a country with a myriad of child protection challenges and profound levels of exposure to violence, keeping children safer online could significantly minimise their risk of harm.
Surely it should be everyone’s goal? But achieving it requires government to add to its current education and awareness strategy, to enact the drafted legislation most likely to protect children, and ultimately, to capacitate the child protection system.
Does it have the motivation and political will to do so? Only time will tell.
First published in the Daily Maverick: 19.02.2025
by Robyn Wolfson Vorster | Jan 29, 2025 | Child Abuse
On 5 November 2024, the second anniversary of Julio Mordoh’s suicide, civil summonses were served on his alleged abuser; his former school and principal, on the secure facility where he died; on the doctor tasked with his care; and on interested parties including the Anglican church and Department of Education. For his grieving parents, the goal is simple — accountability.
is January, millions of parents dressed their children in their school uniforms, took back-to-school pictures and waved them goodbye as they started the new school year. In so doing, they acted on the expectation that their child’s school will be in loco parentis, safeguarding their children as they themselves would.
But what happens when children aren’t kept safe by their educators and coaches, and when the school tasked with stopping the harm fails in its duty of care?
According to the Education Labour Relations Council (ELRC), in the 18 months from April 2023 to October 2024, 65 educators in South Africa were fired for sexual misconduct, prompting the disturbing News24 headline, Teachers are not meant to turn pupils into lovers.
Despite the 65 being reported to the Department of Social Development to be listed on the National Child Protection Register as persons deemed unfit to work with children, only 16 educators were deregistered by the South African Council of Educators (SACE), the registering body for educators.
Without deregistration, the upshot is that some of those fired educators may continue teaching, possible because the child protection register is notoriously out of date and not all schools have recent form 29s for their staff.
But even if educators are listed on the register, they could still be providing private extra lessons, music lessons or sports coaching because parents cannot access the register to check on a potential educator’s status.
Even more alarmingly, the ELRC said that while it is the Department of Education’s job to report sexual misconduct to the police in terms of Section 54 of the Sexual Offences Act and Section 110 of the Children’s Act, it has no way of confirming if these teachers were reported and how many cases have resulted in criminal proceedings.
The upshot is that even when educators are fired for sexual misconduct, they may still have access to children.
Varied school responses
And those are the ones reported – many aren’t. During 2024, we were inundated with stories about sexual misconduct by teachers. The schools’ reactions could not be more varied.
Some responded with active engagement and full disclosure. For example in one case, the alleged perpetrator’s sexual abuse was divulged by the affected children in mid-October 2024, the school immediately reported the matter to the police on the children’s behalf and within two weeks, the former educator was arrested and remanded in custody.
On the other extreme, some schools threatened whistle-blowers with legal action if they proceeded with their reports. And in one troubling instance, staff from a school were called into a meeting following an anonymous report to authorities about the sexual abuse of a learner which led to an investigation by the provincial department of education and SACE.
The staff were told by a senior member of the management team that he had contacts, and that not only would he make the case go away, but that he’d also find the whistle-blowers, and when he did, he knew where they and their families lived.
Most schools fall somewhere between these extremes however, quietly investigating allegations internally, and often, equally quietly, letting the alleged perpetrator move on to become another school’s problem. This enabling has in one instance allowed an alleged perpetrator to abuse children in at least two different countries for more than 50 years.
While responsibility for the sexual abuse of children lies with the perpetrator, accountability for the harm lies with the system that either enables them or holds them responsible.
In a series of articles I will be writing, I ask: who is guarding the guardians, and what should the consequence be for schools, government and other institutions that fail in their duty of care?
Julio Mordoh
Julio Mordoh. (Photos: Supplied)
It’s been two long years since Teresa and Marcio Mordoh lost their son. Julio died, aged 20, after he hanged himself with his belt in a restricted area at a secure psychiatric facility. His untimely death came less than a year after he first disclosed that he had been groomed and sexually abused by his former head of pastoral care and rock climbing coach, and only weeks after he deposed an affidavit against the man he accused of abusing him from the ages of nine to 12 while he was in the Preparatory School at St John’s College in Johannesburg, the elite boy’s school where he spent most of his schooling life.
After years of suppressed memories, Julio’s disclosure of the abuse first occurred when his psychologist read him a letter written by St John’s College after another of the school’s former pupils came forward to allege sexual assault by the prep school teacher.
Tragically, Julio’s response to the letter was, “Oh, so there were other boys, I thought I was the only one.”
Writing from Julio Mordoh’s diary. (Photo: Supplied)
Less than a year later Julio was dead, having lost his brave battle with the post-traumatic stress and depression that characterised more than half of his short life.
Despite criminal charges being initiated against the alleged perpetrator on 15 November 2021, he is yet to plead to charges. In June 2024, due to jurisdictional wrangles, the criminal charges against him were temporarily dropped so the case could be centralised. This finally occurred in November 2024. Up to two decades after the abuse began for many of the St John’s victims, they are still awaiting a set down date in the Johannesburg high court. Justice seems very distant.
But even when the criminal case proceeds, Julio’s affidavit cannot be presented as evidence because his premature death means he cannot be cross-examined. Giving Julio a voice, and achieving justice for him, is one of the main reasons why his parents initiated a civil case.
In November 2024, they served civil summonses on the alleged perpetrator, on St John’s College and its board, on the former headmaster of the preparatory school where the abuse is alleged to have occurred, on the facility where he died and the psychiatrist treating him and on the Anglican Church, Anglican Board of Education, Department of Education and South African Council of Educators as interested parties.
John Smyth case
The timing of the case is significant. Summonses were served on the second anniversary of Julio’s death, only 10 days before the case would have prescribed. Unlike criminal cases, civil cases prescribe three years after the victim’s first disclosure. It was also initiated just days before the Anglican Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, resigned.
Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby addresses General Synod delegates during the debate on gay marriage at The Church House on February 08, 2023 in London, England. (Photo by Leon Neal/Getty Images)
Welby’s resignation came after revelations about the Anglican Church and his own personal failure in the duty of care to as many as 130 young men in the United Kingdom, Zimbabwe and South Africa who were victimised by the late John Smyth for 40 years.
For Julio’s parents, the latter is particularly significant given that one of the goals of the civil case is to hold those who failed in their duty of care towards Julio accountable. As the Mordohs acknowledge, even if Julio’s alleged perpetrator is found guilty, it will not necessarily result in systemic change.
Schools and other institutions often swiftly close ranks against those who abuse children, but are less quick to recognise their own role in allowing predatory teachers and coaches to flourish, often for decades, and their failures to stop them when presented with evidence of wrongdoing.
Horrific beatings
This is painfully clear in the John Smyth case. Reports abound of Smyth’s sadistic and perverse behaviour towards the boys in his care. This included making them strip naked or taking their clothes off himself to acknowledge their sinfulness, and then lashing them for atonement, sometimes hundreds of times, depending on the “sin”. He was reported to have meted out 100 lashes for masturbation, 400 for pride and 800 for some undisclosed “fall”.
The stories told by victims read like tales of torture, blood splattering, long-term damage, adult nappies and attempted suicides. But at the end of every beating, Smyth would rub lotion on their wounds, kneel beside them to pray and kiss them on the shoulders and back.
These horrific beatings, often in his garden shed or in “bash camps”, became interspersed with careful grooming, team skinny-dips, showers and naked prayer sessions while Smyth decried masturbation and homosexuality.
Smyth’s son PJ, who was one of his father’s first victims, reports that the Anglican Church initially became aware of Smyth’s abuse in 1982 through the Rushton report which detailed the beatings of 22 young men over a four-year period, the same period that Smyth had been beating his son. The report resulted in a tearful Smyth, fearful of consequences, apologising to his son.
PJ’s beatings stopped, but there were no further sanctions or consequences for Smyth.
Despite the bravery of the victims who came forward and told the stories detailed in the Rushton report, the church did not act on it. Instead, they covered it up. Smyth was sent to Zimbabwe as a “missionary” in 1984. There his behaviour continued until in 1992, one of the young men in his care, Guide Nyachuru drowned in “suspicious circumstances”. The resultant culpable homicide case against Smyth collapsed, and again, he avoided consequences. But in 2001, he was forced to move, this time to South Africa after being barred from re-entering Zimbabwe.
Even when an investigative documentary by Channel 4 in the UK aired in 2017, the church was still slow to act. Smyth died in 2018 without having ever been disciplined or prosecuted for his 40 years of crimes.
Church failure
In his exposé book, Bleeding for Jesus, the author Andrew Graystone reported that Smyth’s abuse was known to many of the most senior clerics and clergy in the church but “obfuscation, cover-up, delay, words ‘on the quiet’, the side-lining or shutting out those who raised warnings, and straight enabling” were the order of the day.
Shielding Smyth, they failed to report his crimes to the UK police, to let authorities including church authorities in Zimbabwe and South Africa know about the crimes, to support the victims, or to give them justice.
These failures were confirmed by the 2024 Makin review which outlined the extent of Smyth’s crimes labelling them as “prolific and abhorrent”. Makin stated that “words cannot adequately describe the horror of what transpired”.
It also highlighted the church’s failure in its leadership, accountability and duty of care. The report reflected that “The Church’s reaction to the exposé of John Smyth’s abuse by Channel 4 in February 2017 was poor in terms of speed, professionalism, intensity and curiosity. The needs of the victims were not at the forefront.”
The Makin report’s key themes are the impact of failures of leadership, accountability and safeguarding; the effect of an extended cover-up of harm; and that abuse can be hidden in plain sight.
Significantly, when former Archbishop Justin Welby was forced to resign, it was the first time that anyone other than Smyth’s victims had experienced any consequences for his crimes.
It telegraphed a significant change in thinking, specifically that punitive actions should follow institutional failures and failures of leadership.
St John’s obligation
The timing is key given that St John’s is an Anglican school, and the church is named as an interested party in the summons. The civil summons reinforces the school’s legal obligation to report physical harm and sexual abuse to the police, and the Department of Social Development, or a designated child protection agency if it is aware of it.
For this reason, whether the school was aware of Julio’s abuse and that of other victims is one of the pivotal issues in the civil case.
St John’s declined to comment for this article stating that, “the subject matter involves ongoing legal considerations, and as a matter of principle and confidentiality, we are unable to disclose details concerning the civil claim. This position is essential for ensuring the legal integrity of the process. We remain committed to transparency where appropriate and will provide updates or information to the St John’s Community in a manner consistent with our legal and ethical obligations.”
However, in a previous right of reply sent to Daily Maverick in October 2023, the school stated that it only became aware of the sexual abuse on 13 October 2021 when one of the victims, as an adult, disclosed the abuse to his parents.
Despite the law stipulating that anyone with reasonable suspicion that a child had been sexually abused should report it, and St John’s being aware that the alleged perpetrator was a deputy head at another private school who therefore continued to have access to children, the matter was only reported a month later after an independent investigation instigated by the school resulted in other victims coming forward.
Case opened
The victims then opened a case with the SAPS’ Family Violence, Child Protection and Sexual Offences (FCS) unit on 15 November 2021. Once charges had been laid, St John’s reported the teacher to the South African Council of Educators and informed its school community.
Nonetheless, it is not the school’s response to the first disclosure that is at issue. The key question to be answered in the civil trial is, was the school aware of inappropriate behaviour from the alleged predator, including sexual grooming, when he was teaching at the school, and did it act to stop that behaviour?
St John’s is adamant that it wasn’t aware. In its 2023 reply, it cited the independent inquiry into the matter conducted by retired Constitutional Court Justice Johan Froneman. A redacted summary of the report was sent to the school community in May 2022. In it, Judge Froneman concluded that: “There is nothing to indicate that the staff, Headmasters of the Prep and the College, or the Council failed to report criminal conduct that came to their knowledge. No boy or parent had reported any conduct of the kind to the school during the relevant period.”
‘Carefully groomed’
While that seems definitive, it’s worth noting that the boys in question were between the ages of nine and 13 and if Julio’s story is reflective of others, they had been carefully groomed by the alleged predator. I asked St John’s if its preparatory school boys had been educated about sexual grooming, about how to spot a potential predator and how to report someone if they had concerns. It was one of the questions that the school chose not to answer.
But, in the absence of an understanding about grooming (and even with it), we should not expect young boys who had been groomed to disclose abuse because they would typically feel isolated, confused and complicit, as evidenced by Julio’s belief that he was the only victim and therefore somehow to blame.
Equally, if the abuse took place on school property or at school events such as camps, tours and hikes, and the boys did not disclose, their parents would have no way of knowing that their boys were being abused.
Reports
For this reason, the lack of reporting from pupils and their parents is not convincing evidence that the school wasn’t aware of the abuse. What is more significant is if the school received reports from staff members raising concerns about the alleged predator.
The Froneman report seems to indicate that it did. The summary states that “two complaints were taken by Prep staff to their Head during the former teacher’s tenure at the Prep, and these were appropriately dealt with by the Prep Head at the time.”
The summary further states that: “Judge Froneman felt it important to stress that his review did not uncover improper management of the complaints against the former Prep teacher, by the Prep and Executive Headmaster or staff, given the knowledge available at the time regarding sexual and other abuse.”
St John’s has elected not to share the full report, even in redacted form, so it’s hard to know how these complaints were handled. In questions posed to the school, we asked if the boys who were referenced in these complaints had been interviewed in the presence of their parents, if the teacher had been disciplined, if a form 22 had been completed and if the school had instituted an investigation through SACE and, or the police. The school declined to answer, but Froneman’s reference in his report to “available” knowledge about sexual abuse raises red flags.
Sexual grooming has been a crime since 2008, so knowledge about it was available when Julio was at the preparatory school. If the complaints brought to management by staff members could have been construed as grooming behaviour by the alleged perpetrator, and the school did not follow due process as specified by the legislation, it could certainly be deemed to have failed in its duty of care.
The civil case will probably be lengthy and challenging for the Mordohs, and regardless of the outcome, nothing will make up for the loss of their son, nor the painful aftermath of their efforts to help him prior to his death and their own psychological challenges and permanent loss of earnings following his suicide.
But as Teresa emphasises, their goal is to ensure that “although Julio died in pain, he did not die in vain”.
No matter the outcome, if their civil case results in even one more institution prioritising the protection of their children over reputational risk, it will already be a victory.
First published in the Daily Maverick: 29.02.2025
by Robyn Wolfson Vorster | May 22, 2024 | Child Abuse
For Thomas Kruger’s bereaved family, his suicide at St Andrew’s College in Makhanda was inexplicable. Five years later, with the launch of a documentary focusing on harm experienced by boys at elite schools, are they any closer to getting justice for their son?
Thomas Kruger’s bereaved family felt his 2018 suicide at St Andrew’s College in Makanda was inexplicable. (Photo: Supplied)
Read Part One here and Part Two here. For details on the documentary on the issue, see here.
The 2011 National Youth Risk Behaviour Survey found that 17.6% of South African learners had considered attempting suicide in the six months before the survey, 15.6% had made a plan to commit suicide, 17.8% had made one or more suicide attempts and of those who had attempted suicide, 31.5% required medical treatment. Most suicides occur between the ages of 15 and 29.
Nationally, the overall death rate by suicide is approximately four times higher for men than for women.
But no one expected Thomas Kruger to take his life.
Bright, talented, personable and kind, he seemingly had everything to live for, so the phone call his parents received from St Andrew’s College on Sunday morning, 18 November 2018 came like a bolt from the blue. Thomas had been found hanging from the window of the sanatorium at the school. He was dead.
Thomas wasn’t even supposed to be at the school, he was supposed to be on a hiking adventure with the rest of his Grade 10 group. Instead, his body was found in the place where he should have been safest.
His heartbroken father, Charl Kruger, spent the next three years searching for answers to his death which led to an investigative podcast, an independent review, and a change of leadership at the school. But five years after Tom’s death, questions about why he died and who, if anyone is to blame, still loom large.
Kruger describes Tom as a caring, empathetic, mischievous and loving boy whose dream was to live on an island caring for as many adopted children and abandoned pets as possible. He explains how Tom championed children with disabilities during primary school, spent his high school holidays volunteering at a place of safety for abandoned children, and would walk to the shops on cold Gqeberha days to buy lemon cream biscuits, tea and sugar and then inspan his dad to trawl the streets handing out tea and biscuits to homeless people.
Charl and Thomas Kruger. (Photo: Supplied)
He was remarkable in other ways too. An all-around sportsman who excelled at water polo, cricket and hockey and was strong academically, he was awarded the prestigious Duthie Memorial Scholarship to St Andrew’s College in Makhanda.
Kruger says that Tom was very excited about attending St Andrew’s and that as a family, they loved the school’s traditions and culture of excellence, and were impressed by the quality of men in the St Andrew’s alumni.
Once he settled, Tom shone at St Andrew’s, in his sporting achievements, academically and socially. He was well-liked by his peers and teachers.
Thomas Kruger was regarded as an excellent sportsman at St Andrew’s College. (Photo: Supplied)
Withdrawn and secretive
But within months Tom’s behaviour began to change. Charl describes how his son, who had shared everything with him, became more private, withdrawn and secretive. An affectionate child, he started to resist being hugged. The family attributed it to his age, but his father also noticed an uncharacteristic hardening in his son.
Like the Mordohs, Tom’s parents thought the separation was a natural part of growing up. They also believed that the man St Andrew’s had entrusted with mentoring and providing him with pastoral care, his assistant housemaster and water polo coach, David Mackenzie, would give him the guidance and support he needed.
Describing Mackenzie as approachable and charming, Kruger says that he formed a very strong bond with the boys from his boarding house, Espin House, and the water polo team he coached. Kruger says Mackenzie took a special interest in Tom, who was in Espin House and played water polo for the Under-14A team. Tom seemed able to relate to him, and Tom’s family felt that Mackenzie, who treated Tom more like a younger brother to nurture and develop than a pupil, always appeared to have “Tom’s back”.
But behind the scenes, things may not have been quite what they seemed. Mackenzie was hosting secret parties in his flat which was adjacent to the Grade 8 dormitories in Espin House. Under the guise of Harry Potter, Peaky Blinders and Fast and Furious showings, Mackenzie allowed the boys to drink and smoke in his flat and on sports tours.
In 2017, when he was in Grade 9, Tom had an opportunity to spend a night at home, a rare treat for termly boarders. He gave it up to attend “fitness practice”, which Tom explained was a movie night for the water polo boys hosted by Mackenzie in his flat.
Kruger says that code words and names were part of Mackenzie’s relationship with the boys and that the boys in his inner circle all had nicknames.
During the independent review convened by Judge Dayalin Chetty in November 2021 after Tom’s death, Mackenzie described activities at the flat captured in photos on his phone as “harmless fun over a couple of beers”, and while “decrying any notion of sexual impropriety, candidly admitted to multitudinous instances of him and the boys cavorting, drinking and smoking in his flatlet”.
But Chetty remarked that the photos “evoke deep disquiet.”
According to Kruger, Mackenzie also appeared to use selection for the top water polo teams and tours as leverage over the boys. When Tom — who had represented his province with Mackenzie as his coach at the under-14 level and had been chosen in a first and second-team development squad which toured Croatia, Serbia and Montenegro in Grade 9 — was not selected for the first-team squad at the end of that year, his family say that he was uncharacteristically distressed.
Kruger explains that it wasn’t because Tom felt entitled to play for the team, but because he felt personally let down by Mackenzie.
The family, who knew Mackenzie well, followed up with him. Kruger says Mackenzie responded that if it was “entirely up to him Tom would have made the team, but the decision was not his alone”. Nonetheless, to his delight, Tom was included in the water polo camp before the start of his Grade 10 year after all.
Thomas Kruger became distant and withdrawn. (Photo: Supplied)
Signs of depression
Shortly after that, things began to unravel. In March, Tom showed signs of depression and told the family that he no longer wanted to be at boarding school.
In the same month, on Tom’s 16th birthday, he showed his family Pride Rock. It was about 6km outside of St Andrew’s, in a remote place off a dirt road accessed by an isolated parking lot. Describing it as a breathtakingly beautiful place, a rock overhanging a mountain and overlooking a lovely valley, Kruger says that Tom told him, “It’s mine and Mr Mackenzie’s rock this, Dad”.
Months later, after Mackenzie had abruptly resigned from the school, Kruger found his son on Pride Rock on a bitterly cold July night. Tom had cycled along the N1 highway to Pride Rock at 3.30am in the pitch dark.
Kruger’s frantic search brought him to the rock where he says he found his son shivering and crying. He hugged Tom and they cried together for about an hour.
The Kruger family did everything they could to intervene. They’d moved to Makhanda so Tom could be a day pupil at the school. But after Tom’s night visit to Pride Rock, they took him back to Gqeberha. He received psychiatric and psychological care for depression and then, when he felt up to returning to school, he chose not to go back to St Andrew’s but to attend Grey High School instead.
Kruger says that when Mackenzie left St Andrew’s, Espin House parents received a letter from the school stating that it had initiated disciplinary proceedings against Mackenzie after he had “allegedly facilitated the bunking out of a boy from the sanatorium” and “was allegedly complicit in assisting a boy to break College and Espin House rules”.
According to Kruger, Mackenzie, who emphasised how many alternative job offers he had received, told the Krugers that he thought St Andrew’s had too many rules.
After Mackenzie accepted a job at Grey College in Bloemfontein, Tom asked if he could move to Grey Bloemfontein because Mackenzie wanted him there to play water polo and would organise a full scholarship for him. Tom’s parents said no to the move.
Tom was happier after leaving St Andrew’s. But, despite no longer being Tom’s teacher, Mackenzie seems to have remained a part of his life. He organised surprise visits to Tom’s home and took him to play tennis (a sport which Tom’s dad says he didn’t normally play), or to a gym.
And, when the Krugers visited Grey College in Bloemfontein where Tom’s younger brother was playing a water polo tournament, Kruger describes his dismay when Mackenzie whisked Tom off for hours.
Shortly thereafter Tom asked to return to St Andrew’s which he did in time for the school’s annual Grade 10 Journey, a hiking, kayaking and swimming adventure from the source to the mouth of the Fish River. Tom was welcomed back with joy, but within two days of starting the journey he handed in some contraband (nicotine and vaping equipment) to a master in charge. It earned him a trip back to the school.
Because all the Grade 10 boys were on the journey, the Grade 10 dorm was empty, so Tom stayed the night in the school’s sanatorium. He spent the evening watching the Springboks play rugby, chatting to another boy in the sanatorium and then fell asleep on the couch.
He was scheduled to have a disciplinary hearing in the morning and then, when the hearing was complete and the sanction agreed upon, he would probably have rejoined the hike.
But Tom didn’t return to the journey. Early on Sunday morning, 18 November 2018, at the age of 16, Tom, who had never been placed on suicide watch by his healthcare professionals, squeezed out of a tiny unbarred window of the school sanatorium and hanged himself.
Evident in Kruger’s story is that Tom was let down by those in authority. Five years after Tom’s death the family are yet to get an official report on his death. In its absence, they have had to piece together information from an initial briefing and eyewitness accounts.
Headmaster’s response
In his written response to Daily Maverick, Ian Thompson, the then headmaster of St Andrew’s said that a report had been compiled but that the family may not have received it because they had declined contact with the school after Tom’s death.
Further, in October 2017, a year before Tom’s death, St Andrew’s had commissioned a review of Mackenzie’s behaviour by an HR consultant after receiving complaints about him from parents of other St Andrew’s pupils, and the resultant report found no evidence of wrongdoing by Mackenzie. The consultant instead asserted that the complaints “served only to muddy the waters”.
Judge Chetty’s review, in November 2021, concluded, however, that the findings of that investigation had been “predetermined”.
Judge Chetty’s report concluded that Thompson had failed to respond to multiple complaints laid against Mackenzie by St Andrew’s parents and teachers over 18 months, including the assault of a pupil, “inappropriate familiarity with the boys” and concerns about boys being alone in Mackenzie’s flat at night.
In his written responses, Thompson emphasised that none of the complaints he received against Mackenzie were related to sexual abuse or grooming. Thompson’s testimony during the review was that he ascribed Mackenzie’s behaviour to the inexperience of a young teacher “finding his way in the first years of being a teacher”, and “having to come to terms with a narrow gap” between himself “and the boys he was teaching”.
He further stated that while he was familiar with the concept of grooming, he saw Mackenzie’s behaviour “not as a flag for grooming” but as “a learning and developmental moment”.
Judge Chetty however said he found this testimony “incomprehensible”.
When disciplinary proceedings were finally brought against Mackenzie after he signed a boy out of the sanatorium so he could spend the night in his flat, Thompson says that the legal advice received by the school was that the matter was not reportable.
Mackenzie was allowed to resign rather than face disciplinary action.
The panel’s report includes a WhatsApp conversation conducted from 9pm to 10.30pm between Mackenzie and one of the pupils.
In the conversation, which formed part of the disciplinary process, Mackenzie says: “I loved the last 24 hours [redacted name of pupil] but this is impacting my job. I want to talk to you every day and see you every day. We just have to be clever now nothing changes between us I promise.”
While Mackenzie insisted that there was an innocent explanation for the exchange, this was rejected by Judge Chetty, who said Mackenzie’s explanation was “contrived and falls to be rejected”.
Despite the seriousness of the allegations that led to Mackenzie leaving St Andrew’s College, his conduct was not reported to the SA Police Service or the South African Council for Educators (SACE) and he continued to teach at other schools until he was dismissed from Reddam House Bedfordview in Johannesburg for “gross misconduct and misrepresentation” following the publication of the My Only Story podcast.
The independent review report states that Thompson failed in his duty of care because he had inadequately responded to the complaints brought against Mackenzie. Judge Chetty concluded that evidence reported to Thompson “showed quite unequivocally that Mackenzie was guilty of grooming boys”.
Thompson stepped down from leading the school and has since taken senior posts at other schools.
Although Judge Chetty’s report asserts that “the evidence establishes that the youths who frequented Mackenzie’s flatlet during the review period in all probability suffered psychological harm”, it makes no ruling about why Tom died. To date, Mackenzie has not been charged with any criminal offence either related to Tom or any other boy at St Andrew’s. And, in the absence of a suicide note, it is hard to know what led to Tom’s suicide.
Grave questions
Experts list the leading reasons for teenage suicides as depression, exposure to violence, feelings of hopelessness and acute loss or rejection. Grooming or sexual abuse is just one possibility. But the presence of an adult in a position of authority against whom serious complaints of boundary violations have been laid raises grave questions.
Far more should have been required from those entrusted with Tom’s care.
According to Luke Lamprecht, the head of advocacy at Women and Men Against Child Abuse, to prevent grooming and potential abuse, and to ensure that educators who are abusing children are reported, educators, caregivers and children need to recognise violations of professional boundaries.
Schools should use training and performance management to manage boundary violations. Failing that, any boundary violation by a teacher or coach should be dealt with through the disciplinary process.
Lamprecht says that schools need to pay particular attention to the possibility of grooming, which includes secrets and taboos. This can be part of testing the victim and a gateway to contact sexual abuse.
Dr Joan van Niekerk, a veteran child protection and child rights consultant, explains that grooming is outlined in section 18 of the Sexual Offences Act and that, as such, it is a reportable offence in terms of section 110 of the Children’s Act and section 54 of the Sexual Offences Act.
Schools, therefore, need to understand acceptable professional boundaries because they are obligated to report a teacher to the SAPS or the provincial Department of Social Development, and Sace, if they have reasonable suspicion of grooming. Experts also urge schools not to conflate the disciplinary process with reporting. Regardless of internal processes, schools still need to report.
Lamprecht says the standard for reporting in the Sexual Offences Act is “reasonable belief or suspicion”, and that requesting an investigation is not akin to an accusation. The person reported is still innocent until proven guilty. Because of the difficulty schools experience proving grooming, reporting is often the key to stopping the abuse and preventing further harm.
Edith Kriel, the executive director of Jelly Beanz, which provides mental health services to children affected by sexual abuse and trauma, emphasises that sexual abuse does not have to include contact. While acknowledging the complexities of dealing with sexual abuse where there’s no immediate evidence of contact sexual abuse, Kriel explains that this is why schools need the police to investigate these crimes.
Although there are differences between Tom and Julio’s stories, both involve adults using secrecy, loyalty and blame to manipulate, isolate and seemingly disincentivise sharing.
The behaviour of both boys also provided warning signs that pointed to the possibility of grooming. These include sudden changes of behaviour, becoming secretive, receiving gifts from adults, substance abuse, becoming withdrawn or upset and mental health problems.
Kriel explains that grooming often takes place within a relationship which the child may treasure because they are made to feel special by the offender. The child does not understand that the grooming is in service of the ensuing abuse, but is led to believe that the relationship with the child is paramount to the offender.
Experts confirm that children who have been victimised and experienced grooming are likely to “suffer from serious long-term mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress and suicidal thoughts”.
Kruger believes that, had the school exposed its investigations, Tom’s family could have treated him as a potential victim of abuse, and sought appropriate help. He might be alive today.
Mackenzie questions Judge’s findings
According to David Mackenzie’s attorneys, Gouws Attorneys, who define sexual abuse as “unwanted sexual behaviour by a perpetrator upon another”, Judge Chetty’s investigation was not tested as it would have been before a court of law. Further, they state, Mackenzie was investigated following Tom’s death, but the National Prosecuting Authority declined to prosecute, and he has been incorrectly linked to Operation Nemo which is investigating alleged grooming and sexual abuse in elite schools and the water polo community.
In November 2022, the Krugers filed civil charges against Mackenzie, along with St Andrew’s College, Alan Thompson, the Minister of Education and the South African Council of Educators. A year later, in November 2023, Mackenzie responded by counter-suing the Krugers and other parties for reputational risk. Both cases are still in process.
Despite providing comprehensive written responses for this article, both St Andrew’s College and former headmaster Thompson noted that they were constrained in their replies by pending legal action.
Thompson, who when he stepped down from St Andrew’s stated that he had been “misled and deceived by Mackenzie”, conveyed his desire for justice to be served for Tom and his family.
Tom Hamilton, who replaced Thompson as headmaster of St Andrew’s, expressed the hope that Tom Kruger could be memorialised at the school. He stressed that following the review board’s report on the failure in duty of care surrounding Mackenzie, St Andrew’s College had instituted significant changes to the school’s safeguarding policies and practices, and underlined the school’s commitment to exemplary duty of care.
Like Julio, Tom would have turned 22 this year. But five years after his death, Tom’s family still don’t know why he died. Kruger says that he felt that Tom, who used to tell him everything, must have been carrying a burden too great to share, even with his dad. He clearly saw no other way out except to end his life.
If Kruger is correct, Tom took that burden to the grave and if anyone who shared his life at St Andrew’s knows what it was, they are not telling.
Until they do, justice for Tom seems a long way off.
Julio, Ben*, Bradley and Tom, all boys with promising futures and loving families whose lives were forever defined, and for all but one, cut short after their experiences at some of South Africa’s leading boys’ schools. As seen in Ben’s story, seeing justice served against their alleged abusers is a welcome first step, but even that won’t suffice. Meaningful change requires elite schools to publicly acknowledge their failures in safeguarding their learners and to actively transform school culture and how they care for their learners.
We owe that much to them, and every other boy that will come after them.
This article was first published in the Daily Maverick 22.05.24
If a child you know has been affected by sexual or physical abuse or is at risk for suicide, please contact Childline’s Helpline 24/7 on 116 (free from all networks) or visit their Online Counselling chatrooms. Alternatively, email reportsafely@STOPS.co.za to report abuse.
These articles were written in loving memory of:
Julio Mordoh: 8/1/2002 to 5/11/2022
Thomas Kruger: 20/3/2002 to 18/11/2018
Bradley Skipper: 18/12/1989 to 30/12/2017
*Name changed to protect the identity of the victim
